Days 54-56: Kept

This load didn't JUST get heavy.  It's been heavy for a grip, since birth!  That's when I have to sit back and really "Look Where He brought Me From."  I have to sang the song on that note!  "He brought Me Out of Darkness.  I'm Walking In The Light.  Look Where He Brought Me Frommmmm."  (And the choir is sangin in the background!)

So I painted this tree, with a visibly opened caccoon.  I'm out roaming, climbing, hanging on, and yes, still standing strong.  Hollah if you hear me!

Days 51-53: The Mother Load

And of course after that first one, I was bitten.  Bad, like a mosquito bite!  On to the next one, but wait . . . "Mommy, Mommy, Mom, Mom, Muhhhh..... oh please, let me be something more than Mommy!

This explains my second born, The Mother Load!  I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders all over again.  And I'm not just carrying mine, I feel this huge responsibility to carry every child on my back like that dude, you know the one holding the world up.   I think his name is Atlas, lol!

But you know, sometimes, that weight is like a crown.  Painful thorns, but a crown none the least.  Ain't no need in taking it off, I'll wear it proudly, because He did.

I'll pray, I'll meditate, I'll prostrate . . . all while the baby lives his life on the edge, clueless to the danger surrounding him, innocent and free from carrying the burden of knowing the truth.  (Another big ass sigh).  A mother's love....

Days 46-50: Solitarily Unconfined

Long time no blog.  That's just going to be the case for now.  All I have to say is . . . 5 kids . . . plus umpteen students . . . what!  I get in where I fit in homie!  And long as you know, I'm getting it in . . . and I am most definitely, getting it in . . . I got you!  (Everything I just said made sense in my head)

So I was in a 100 days of art show with a few beautiful, talented, women.  Maya Freelon Asante, Ashley Haley, Rikiesha Hawkins, and Stacey Watkins.  It was at the Bromo Seltzer Arts Tower, which is so freaking cool.  I wouldn't mind having a studio there . . . Anyhoo, Mrs. Maya Freelon Asante does and she invited us to put some stuff on the walls and walahh, MAGIC!

It all started with our first meeting.  My spiritual partner Rocky (Rikiesha Hawkins) showed her 100 Days project as she emptied a bag of jeweled figures.  As we spread them out and connected to their ambiance, they grew and grew.  They watered a seed in my heart and I started to imagine places to house them.

I gathered the kiddos, gave Daj'zha (The Apprentice) a satchel, and we set off into the woods on a hike to remember.  They took me through their secret world and I became a kid again, remembering my own little nooks and crannies that I wandered in and out of during my most cherished time as a child.  We picked buttercups, revered trees, ingested God's majesty, and went on an adventure, sticker brier bushes and all.  For the first time in months, I was breathing.  I mean really partaking in the experience of inhaling and exhaling life and that is all.  (Big ol' sigh)

I spent a few days prepping paper, dying some with teas, gessoing, and hanging them up outside to dry on cords.  My patio was looking like an artist sanctuary from the street, I fought off ant's and soaked in the sun rays which felt more like God smiling on me.

Then I started to unload my bag of goodies that we collected along our marvelous hike.  So many treasures the forest offered.  Fallen debris, along the wayside, left for dead, screaming out, "I shall live and not die".

Life and Death was heavy on my mind, because it was around the time when the news really broke on Traevon Martin.  I was flooded with feelings of what if this were my son.  The hatred that was spurring from the guts of this case made my guts churn.  I wanted to run away to an island.  Because the thought that I was living in a place where someone, too many someones, didn't want me to be, made me feel dissed.  Spat upon.  And what could I say or do, but take a picture of my kids in hoodies?  I questioned, what did the people who's backs I stand on do when faced with these same tragic realizations.  Those artists spoke up and spread the truth to the people.  To all who would listen.  Again, I felt that familiar call to service that I felt when Obama took office.  God was on the end of the line like, "You gotta say something.  You gotta stand for something.  Don't fall unless you're falling on your knees.  I need you to stand."  Like Tom Feelings stood back in the day.  He is one of my personal heroes from the Black Arts Movement.  He did what I want to do.

So I started laying out the found natural materials from my walk with Yah, cause She was certainly there in my dirty wet timberlands.  (I'm always, falling in the creek.  I think my feet do it on purpose.)

And the piece of art for the exhibition was birthed.  Solitarily Unconfined.

I'm confined in some ways, yes, to my thoughts, internally.  Cause all this mess has got me feeling useless, while in my mind, I have the power to make a difference.  I just have to get my hands to see it all through.  Still, my spirit roams free, much like Rikiesha's little wire figures.  I feel alone and lost sometimes through the madness but although it feels like I'm on this journey solitarily, I know that God is with me and my steps are certainly ordered.

Thanks Kee (Rikiesha Hawkins) for the lovely wire sculptures!  They really bring the piece to life!

Day 45: Subtle Repose

I feel like I'm back at Day One.  So I had to go read Days One, Two, and Three to remember what I was feeling during that time and motivate myself to move forward.  It was pretty interesting to see how it all started off and what I got from that first few days was this.  "It's funny how in the beginning I started out feeling stressed and inadequate and ended up feeling encouraged and renewed."  I said that?  I guess that was me.  So I read on and looked at the final result of my first three days and something wonderful happened . . . I felt encouraged and renewed. 

So here I sit with a blank piece of wood, a pencil, 

 and an awake baby . . .

What's a tired mommy/starving artist to do? 

Hazrat Inayat Khan says, "The soul is a current that joins the physical body to the source.  The art of repose naturally makes it easier for the soul to experience freedom, inspiration, power, because it is then loosened from the grip of the physical body."

So I rocked the baby with my foot, picked up the pencil, and let my soul speak.  This is what came out.

I've been reading a lot of Frida Kahlo stuff so I was inspired to draw a self portrait.  I loved how she made herself her subject.  I have to laugh when I look at this drawing because I look a little annoyed, a little tired, a little frustrated, a little agitated, a little sad, and a little like a distant cousin instead of like myself, hah!  (I have a hard time making people look like themselves when I draw.  They usually look like family members of the actual person I'm drawing) 

I propped myself, or should I say my distant cousin, up against a wall and went to sleep at 3 am this morning.  When I woke up and looked at the drawing in a different light, it looks a little like, I might be having a moment of subtle repose.  So maybe my soul actual won this one.  Take that physical body!!!!!

 

What Day is it?

Don't even ask.  It's been way to long since I've blogged and I've beat myself up about it enough so I'm not going to linger there.  I made it back.  And although I haven't been posting, my 100 days of art journey continues.  I'll will do my best to catch you up.

Days 42-43 I worked on moving my web comic over to wordpress.  I wanted to wait to send you there until I posted up the new comics that I've created, but the computer that is hooked up to my scanner is out of commission so that didn't work out like I wanted it to.  It took me forever to get the little bit done that I did get done.  I still have some tweaking to do but there should be no issues at all with leaving comments now.  You can go see the first comic there and the new site.  Just click on the old Fly Girlz over and up yonder.  lol.  Or go to flygirlzsaga.com.  I have new comics coming as soon as I can afford to buy a new scanner.  So hold your horses.  Rome was not built in a day peeps.     

Day 44:  I played with my dolls yesterday.  It's not the actual 44th day of work but it's ready to post while the other stuff hasn't been documented yet, so I'm all out of order but who cares.  Destiny and Nadia are always fun to look at.  I love these dolls, I can't wait until Kaye makes a new tiny.  Her tiny beings are so perfect for me.  Here are Destiny and Nadia styling and profiling.  I won't commentate too much because the photos turned out so good they speak for themselves.

 She was feeling a little romantic...

 Stunning little rebel isn't she . . .

I love this composition, those trees roots are amazing and my girls are fierce!

They are quite the models aren't they?  I love them so much.  That should hold you off until I can get some more pictures taken of my other many art projects.  These girls are truly an inspiration.