Continuum

Continuum-a continuous extent, series, or whole.

Continuous-being in immediate connection or spatial relationship

This may be the best first page of a new sketch book I've ever drawn on the fly.  

Spontaneous and Free.    

I call it, "Continuum" because I found a way to make every line that I made work together for the good of the whole.  Sketched in ink so as to promote confident lines, I just went for it.  The grey paper with the brown ink is making my heart quiver with glee, it's so delicious!  I like it a lot!  Yummy!  

I have a confession to make.  I am a sketchbook addict.  I saw the paper and had to have it.  I rarely fill up a sketch book.  I may have two completely full sketchbooks (and one is a thumbnail sketchbook so that doesn't count), but I have a lot of incomplete sketchbooks.  I know it's a problem, I'm working on it.  I don't know what it is but there's just something about a fresh blank book!  I collect them.  I labor for days on what to put on the first page, it's so ridiculous.  It's always that starting point that gets me.  The fear of messing up.  The pursuit of perfection produces a deadly combination when art and fear merge.  How could I ever expect a sketchbook to be perfect?  It's a freaking sketchbook!

I have to talk myself through my misgivings.  A sketchbook's imperfections are what makes it perfect.  It's the space for experimenting without restrictions and preconceptions.  It is inception.

Inception-beginning; start; commencement

Duuuuhhhhhhh....

Well, cheers to spontaneity, and doing what comes natural, and what makes you feel good!

I think I'm going to have to digitally paint this one because there is no way I can reproduce this drawing as a painting otherwise.  Ain't no way lightning is gonna strike twice in the same spot.  I like my first try!  Who am I fooling, I always like my first sketch best.  Don't we all?  It's always more loose and free and full of promise and potential.  No pressure....until the second draft which will not include the Edward scissor hand....I loath drawing hands.  I wish I could wave a magic wand to make them appear effortlessly.  But noooooo, hands have to be all confrontational and difficult, ol' suckas.  

The figure was initially intended to be laying on the drawing, melting into it.  Somehow, she ended up standing holding a tree up.  Then she somehow became the tree.  Sound familiar?  I always start off in prostrate, then somehow end up standing, carrying the load until it becomes second nature and an extension of myself.  We all have the tendency to do that without even thinking about it, some of us need more practice.  I might start off on my face but I find a way to make it to my knees and after that God lifts me to my feet then fills me with His grace.  And if you know me, you know....there are going to be some trees thrown in the mix!  

I just can't help myself.  I don't see dead people.  I see tree people.  LOL!

So this one has mad layers too, which seems to be a reoccuring theme.  She's lays in prostrate and stands in strength, all at the same time.  It's duality, and I like it like that!  That's what laying in prostrate can do for you!  It can give you the strength you need to stand! So go throw yourself down on your face and pray for the strength you need to get back up!  Do not delay!  Do it now!  

This is about as abstract as I get, but I do love when recognizable images emerge from lines and shapes...now that's gangsta!  

Emergence=Evolution

   

Day 45: Subtle Repose

I feel like I'm back at Day One.  So I had to go read Days One, Two, and Three to remember what I was feeling during that time and motivate myself to move forward.  It was pretty interesting to see how it all started off and what I got from that first few days was this.  "It's funny how in the beginning I started out feeling stressed and inadequate and ended up feeling encouraged and renewed."  I said that?  I guess that was me.  So I read on and looked at the final result of my first three days and something wonderful happened . . . I felt encouraged and renewed. 

So here I sit with a blank piece of wood, a pencil, 

 and an awake baby . . .

What's a tired mommy/starving artist to do? 

Hazrat Inayat Khan says, "The soul is a current that joins the physical body to the source.  The art of repose naturally makes it easier for the soul to experience freedom, inspiration, power, because it is then loosened from the grip of the physical body."

So I rocked the baby with my foot, picked up the pencil, and let my soul speak.  This is what came out.

I've been reading a lot of Frida Kahlo stuff so I was inspired to draw a self portrait.  I loved how she made herself her subject.  I have to laugh when I look at this drawing because I look a little annoyed, a little tired, a little frustrated, a little agitated, a little sad, and a little like a distant cousin instead of like myself, hah!  (I have a hard time making people look like themselves when I draw.  They usually look like family members of the actual person I'm drawing) 

I propped myself, or should I say my distant cousin, up against a wall and went to sleep at 3 am this morning.  When I woke up and looked at the drawing in a different light, it looks a little like, I might be having a moment of subtle repose.  So maybe my soul actual won this one.  Take that physical body!!!!!

 

Day 31: Back in Business

Okay, so I know I've been MIA since day 30 and it sickens me.  But with the holidays came a whole lot of . . . drama!  My wonderful oldest son broke my computer cord then my lovely youngest son killed my cell phone, so I was left debilitated and discombobulated.  It has taken me some time to get back on my feet and get my groove back.  I was on a role too, but now I'm back at it again.  Sorry for the hiatus!  I'll just pick up my 100 days of art from here and keep pressing on.  Life happens! 

Not only was my technical world flipped upside down, but my job . . . let's just say it's been a challenge to stay away from the ledge.  The kids that I teach have a lot of issues and when you put all of them together on one floor in a newly established school, with a minimum budget, understaffed, with not nearly enough resources to address their overwhelmingly unmet needs; it's a recipe for disaster.  And frankly it has literally sucked the life out of me.

I am a community artist down to my core and all that I want as a teaching artist is to have a beautiful art experience.  Sadly, I haven't had one of those in a very long time.  It is long overdue but now the organization that I work for has decided to cut ties with the school that I'm working in because it's just not working.  No one, including the artists, administration, and students are getting the support that they need and we have to bow out until somebody goes back to the drawing board to rework the plan.  It's depressing because these kids are suffering from deprivation.  It's no wonder why the inner city communities are losing their vitality by the second.  It makes me feel helpless and dumbfounded.

However, on this day that we celebrate the birth of the great Martin Luther King Jr., I still feel driven to service.  I still believe that little ol' me can do something to make a difference in an impoverished child's life.  It's part of my purpose.  So I'M going back to the drawing board, having faith that even the tiniest seed with the most humblest beginning can still hold an enormous promise.