Continuum

Continuum-a continuous extent, series, or whole.

Continuous-being in immediate connection or spatial relationship

This may be the best first page of a new sketch book I've ever drawn on the fly.  

Spontaneous and Free.    

I call it, "Continuum" because I found a way to make every line that I made work together for the good of the whole.  Sketched in ink so as to promote confident lines, I just went for it.  The grey paper with the brown ink is making my heart quiver with glee, it's so delicious!  I like it a lot!  Yummy!  

I have a confession to make.  I am a sketchbook addict.  I saw the paper and had to have it.  I rarely fill up a sketch book.  I may have two completely full sketchbooks (and one is a thumbnail sketchbook so that doesn't count), but I have a lot of incomplete sketchbooks.  I know it's a problem, I'm working on it.  I don't know what it is but there's just something about a fresh blank book!  I collect them.  I labor for days on what to put on the first page, it's so ridiculous.  It's always that starting point that gets me.  The fear of messing up.  The pursuit of perfection produces a deadly combination when art and fear merge.  How could I ever expect a sketchbook to be perfect?  It's a freaking sketchbook!

I have to talk myself through my misgivings.  A sketchbook's imperfections are what makes it perfect.  It's the space for experimenting without restrictions and preconceptions.  It is inception.

Inception-beginning; start; commencement

Duuuuhhhhhhh....

Well, cheers to spontaneity, and doing what comes natural, and what makes you feel good!

I think I'm going to have to digitally paint this one because there is no way I can reproduce this drawing as a painting otherwise.  Ain't no way lightning is gonna strike twice in the same spot.  I like my first try!  Who am I fooling, I always like my first sketch best.  Don't we all?  It's always more loose and free and full of promise and potential.  No pressure....until the second draft which will not include the Edward scissor hand....I loath drawing hands.  I wish I could wave a magic wand to make them appear effortlessly.  But noooooo, hands have to be all confrontational and difficult, ol' suckas.  

The figure was initially intended to be laying on the drawing, melting into it.  Somehow, she ended up standing holding a tree up.  Then she somehow became the tree.  Sound familiar?  I always start off in prostrate, then somehow end up standing, carrying the load until it becomes second nature and an extension of myself.  We all have the tendency to do that without even thinking about it, some of us need more practice.  I might start off on my face but I find a way to make it to my knees and after that God lifts me to my feet then fills me with His grace.  And if you know me, you know....there are going to be some trees thrown in the mix!  

I just can't help myself.  I don't see dead people.  I see tree people.  LOL!

So this one has mad layers too, which seems to be a reoccuring theme.  She's lays in prostrate and stands in strength, all at the same time.  It's duality, and I like it like that!  That's what laying in prostrate can do for you!  It can give you the strength you need to stand! So go throw yourself down on your face and pray for the strength you need to get back up!  Do not delay!  Do it now!  

This is about as abstract as I get, but I do love when recognizable images emerge from lines and shapes...now that's gangsta!  

Emergence=Evolution

   

Hurricane Sandy Hits!

Sitting here in the middle of the biggest hurricane on record in a long time, a little bored, but praying that the power doesn't go out.  One of my student sends me a picture of a bowl of fruit that he's painting and asks for feedback.  I give him some pointers and the next thing I know he's sends me a better version.  I thought, "Wow, he's using his time wisely amidst the chaos of the perfect storm."  Then I scroll down and see the status of another student who has sketched a cute little monkey sitting, waiting for the storm to pass.  I couldn't help but to be inspired by my star students, spending their down time drawing, painting, and doodling while I'm watching news people put their lives in harms way, about to be blown away by hurricane winds just to prove that we should stay in.

Needless to say, I was inspired and decided to pick up my sketchbook.  Then I thought, but wait, I still have electricity.  I want to use it while I have it so I put my sketchbook down and went to my sketch n draw app on my phone and got busy with my finger instead of a pen.  Who knew a finger doodle could turn out so nice!  I'm getting better at using the sketch n draw app, it's relaxing, and a lot of fun.  I should use it more often.  Many thanks to my students and this storm for the inspiration and whoever created this fun app!  Despite the rain, the wind gusts, and the threat of losing power, I'm still managing to find creative ways to occupy my time.
 

 Hurricane Sandy Doodle by D.L. Tucker

So here's my little finger doodle inspired by the storm.  Thankfully, the electricity is still on so that I can blog about it.  Stay safe folks!  And stay creative!

Day 11: Daj'zha's Birthday

Today was 11/11/11.  We won't live to see that moment again, but my babygirl can say that she celebrated her birthday on this day!  Didn't have too much time to do art because we were too busy ice skating and celebrating.  I got to be eight again!

We had a blast.  I love experiencing life through her eyes.  She has such a great imagination.  For Halloween she was a spider fairy.  Something we pieced together.  Look at this face.  (Makeup by Mommy)

There is one drawing that I have in my sketchbook that I drew from a picture of me when I was eight years old, and my daughter is the spitting image of me.

My daughter is my greatest inspiration.  Seeing her everyday is really like experiencing Daj'zha Vu.

Day 10: Introducing Israel

Since I'm on a character study tip, I thought I'd go ahead and introduce the main character in my book, Israel.  She is so special to me.  This drawing is my favorite of her so far.

This is a major scene in the book. 

I love drawing in my sketchbook.  It's where I get some of my best drawings...

This little girl is "The Chosen One".  She's gonna save the world some day...

Day 9: Kali

My favorite Hindu goddess is Kali.  She's known to be the goddess of death, but she doesn't go around killing people, she brings death of the ego.  She helps us overcome the I-am-the-body idea by reinforcing the awareness that the body is a temporary condition.  It is our attachment to the body that gives rise to the ego.  Kali removes the ego and liberates the soul from the cycle of birth and death.

My fear of death seems to follow me everywhere that I go.  That's how Kali became a character in my book.  I recently stumbled across my first attempt at drawing her.  She's so beautiful in my imagination.  Naked without inhibition.  Skin so dark black that it's blue.  Hair so ferosciously wild that it has a life of it's own.  These characteristics stood out most in my head.  I started to wonder what she would look like as a teenager and came up with this drawing back in the day.

In my story, she has to have wings so I remodeled and updated her a bit using my handy dandy watersoluble crayons.  I thought since her hair is so wild and long, and has a life of it's own, it can actually form into wings!

I gave her a veil, because I figured her to be self conscious about her non traditional beauty.  She was probably an awkward teenager who didn't start off knowing what she came to know as a full grown woman about the body.  So she's modestly trying to cover up her private parts, instead of letting it all hang out.  As a young girl, she's in the process of becoming, she's not fully aware of her power and purpose yet.  So she is probably as awkward and shy as the rest of us!  At least in my mind, she is. 

She's going to make a beautiful ball jointed doll when I get around to making her.  I can't wait!  She'll be covered in jewelry from head to toe, as you can see with her awesome foot bracelets.

She has a lot to learn about herself, but an awful lot to teach.  I love this girl!  I can't wait to write her story and turn her into a doll.

She's gonna show me how to keep my third eye OPEN!

Day 8: The Three Tree

I'm drained, and I feel like I'm back where I started energy wise, so for the next few days I'm lolly gagging on the 100 days of art project.  I'm going to revisit some old sketches and play around a bit, just to get my juices stirring again.  So here's an old sketch I call The Three Tree.  I used my Neocolors successfully here.  They are much better for sketching.

I'm a colorist, I love vibrant color combinations.  With the sepia ink on top, I just want to lick this picture it's so yummy with color!

This is a character study for my book.  Not quite in full character mode, but these ladies are wearing these colors well.  You'll find out more about them later.  For now, just enjoy the view!

Still not feeling completely out of my funk, but at least I don't want to melt my watersoluble crayons anymore. 

Surrender: Day Three

Surrender:  To relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand or compulsion.  To give up or give back.

This work has served as a reminder to let go.  I am not the one in control.  Given time, what's ornately on the inside, will find it's way out.  So that's why that little morphed figure showed up and wouldn't go away.  It's my spirit, struggling to break free.

 I didn't expect the feeling of relief that would come out of producing this drawing.  It started off one way and took a turn for the better.  I have so many images that I'd like to create jumbled up in my head all the time, that it gets constipated.  I hardly find the time, make the time, or take the time to get any of it out.  So it just builds and builds and I get more anxious and agitated by the second.  Committing to do this 100 days of art challenge will force me to release some of this stuff that's been bursting at the seams to get out, little by little.  I can only imagine what will come out of this journey.  Hopefully, it will be a sweet surrender.  I know one thing, I'm laying it all at the foot of the cross!  "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help." (Psalms 121:1)

  
It's funny how in the beginning I started out feeling stressed and inadequate and ended up feeling encouraged and renewed.  There are so many subtle nuances that showed up in this drawing unintentionally.  I'm disappointed when people feel the need to tell you what to look for in their art.  I'd rather find it myself.  Art has to be experienced individually by the viewer.  To me, a great illustration has you seeing something more every time you look at it.  So I won't point out all of the symbolism, I'll just say it's there for you to discover.  I hope it makes you feel something because I poured a lot of feeling into it.

I'm looking forward to the next project.  I'm gonna have to purge and see what comes out.  I hope to turn this sketchbook drawing into a beautiful painting someday, but for now...it is finished.  Amen.  Next!

Sacrifice: Day Two

Sacrifice:  Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.

I often do these word studies that lead me to much needed revelations.   Lately I have been feeling a sense of frustration about the process of becoming a woman.  Motherhood is a huge responsibility and with five kids, I'm pulled in so many directions that I don't know which way is up or down.  It's a constant struggle.  I try to do right by my kids, say the right thing, make sure I don't mess them up for life, but the truth is, I never really know what I'm doing.  Sometimes I find myself thinking about where I would be and what I would be doing with my life if I didn't have this huge responsibility and there was just me to think of.  I have so many hopes and dreams and things that I want to do in this lifetime, but time keeps passing me by.  I wake up and before I know it, it's bedtime and the things I hoped to accomplish towards my personal goals just get sat on a shelf for tomorrow, then tomorrow never comes.  Now I'm looking at a shelf full of unfinished business and the only word that pops out in my head is "sacrifice".

That word birthed my latest drawing.  "Sacrifice" has been a reoccurring theme in my life.  I know it's kind of weird but lately I've had this image in my head that I can't shake.  Me hanging on the cross beside Jesus.  I know, it's dramatic, but more times than I'd like to mention, that's exactly how I feel, like I'm suffering, hanging on a cross.  So I've finally gotten the image that's in my head, out on paper.

Now, I did a little research about the two men that were crucified with Jesus and found a quite wonderful story behind them.  They were both criminals and the one guy to His left was mocking Jesus with the rest of the sinners.  Silly rabbit, up there hanging with his Savior and he had the nerve to join the crowd.  But the beauty in this story is found with the criminal who was hanging on the right side of Jesus.  He spoke up for Jesus and proclaimed that He shouldn't be there because He had done nothing wrong.  Then as an act of faith, he looked over at Jesus and said, "Remember me when You come into Your kingdom."  And Jesus said to him, "Truely, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise."(Luke 23:43)

 
Now when I think of sacrifice, there is no greater sacrifice than Jesus giving His life so that I might live.  Jesus was a beautiful green tree growing and thriving in the prime of His life when He was cut down.  He knew what was going to happen to Him, but He did it anyway.  He carried the tree that the soldiers cut down for Him, hung on it, and died so that my tree could continue to grow, forever.  And when the women were weeping with sorrow, mourning His predicament as He carried his cross through the streets, He told them, "Do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and your children.  For the days are surely coming when they will say, "Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never nursed," for if they do this when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?"  (Luke 23:27-31) Now if Jesus had to suffer so terribly when He was innocent, what should my sacrifice be?  Did He really believe that my life was greater than His own?  Clearly the right man was chosen for that task, and clearly the right woman was chosen for this task.  We all have our own cross to bear.
 

So I weep for myself and my children because I am a good mother.  And I will suffer because suffering is my blessing.  And I will be the woman hanging on a green tree, to the right of Him, defending Him until my last breath so that one day, I can be with Him in Paradise.  Gotta keep my eye on the prize and don't look back!  Let the church say Amen!  

The Force: Day One

Nov. 1st was the start date of my 100 days of art challenge.  To explain, a few of my art buddies and I have decided to vow to create something every day for 100 days and blog about the journey.  I've decided to work on something for a week at most, then move on to something else after a week to keep it fresh.  I'm going to try to blog as often as possible, at least weekly.  My plan is to spend at least an hour everyday creating something.  And I am already discouraged because I didn't have a free moment to myself until 11 pm last night and even then it wasn't really a moment to myself because I was drawing in the dark holding the baby trying to put him to sleep at the same time.  Seems like when I make up my mind to do something that I know will be good for me , some unknown force gets in the way and messes it all up for me.  I wanted to give up since the baby and my support system didn't seem to comply with my desires to take a few moments out of my day to fulfill myself, but instead, I kept pressing on... with one hand.  After erasing over and over again, I came up with this half way sucky drawing of how I feel right about now.  It's not what's really in my head, I still have to find a way to get the real image out but "The Force" is present in this rendition, so it's fitting.

I was trying to capture a mother's sacrifice.  I'm going to keep working at it this week to see if I can get what's in my head onto the paper.  I need to hire a nude model because I also realized after erasing so much that the lines were indented into the page, that I suck at drawing what I love to draw most, the woman's figure.  That's really the foundation of all my art.  That little figure that looks like it's morphing out of her chest came from all my erasure marks.  I thought it was kind of cool so I penciled it back in.  I'm gonna do something with it, I don't know what.

So what was supposed to be a relieving moment became a painful realization as always, that I have a lot of work to do to become the artist that I want to be.  But I be darned if I let "The Force" stop me from trying!  I'm gonna fake it till I make it and pray that the next 99 days are not as miserable as the first one.